To say I’ve been dreading writing this post would be an understatement, but I’m hoping that if I just suck it up and do it, I’ll stop being anxious all the time and be able to get back to my regularly scheduled life; so, here we go…
After over a month of becoming a human pin cushion and punching bag at physical therapy, backing off mileage (read: running no more than 2 miles at a time-- in pain), getting in the pool 4+ times a week when it’s zero degrees outside, and foam rolling more than I thought was possible, my knee isn’t doing as well as I hoped. Constantly questioning whether I’ll run Boston this whole time has made me nothing but mad, sad, and extremely anxious. So, in respect to the amount of work it takes to safely train for a marathon, I’m going to sit this one out, and get myself in a place where I’m more than ready (and recovered) to come back and train for Boston 2018 on Team Back on My Feet.
Thankfully since I hit my $7,500 goal (oh yeah, that officially happened!) and I wasn’t yet registered with the BAA, I was able to give my bib to someone of my choosing. No question there that I would offer it to Jon-- my number one fan, supporter, cheerleader, annoyance in my life-- and I can’t wait to see him crush his 5th marathon (hopefully with a BQ and a quick pit stop for a kiss at Mile 18)! As bittersweet as it is, I’m happy that I procrastinated something for once (once is enough), and I can watch someone else enjoy the day way more than I probably would be able to. Last year Jon decided a few days before Boston not to race due to an injury, so this is his karma for being nice to his body.
It was incredibly frustrating to find myself in this position, especially not knowing why. I thought I gave myself enough time off after Philly, but after looking at the mileage before/after-- and when I got hurt-- you can see there were a ton of peaks and valleys between the build up to Philly, rest afterwards, my trip to SF and Seattle, getting sick, then starting off Boston training. I’m thankful that I didn’t tear anything, just pissed (being honest here) that my leg is super tight and not cooperating how I would like it to. Learn from my mistakes friends, and listen to this PSA: FOAM ROLL. ALL THE TIME.
I’m really lucky that I’m surrounded by great friends (hi Jana, Mary, Danielle, Jess, Jon) who have unfortunately dealt with similar things so they were more than willing to talk me through the decision (and let me pour over their blogs). Injured and need some good reads? Check out:
- Jana talk about if Philly was never “the goal”
- Mary talk about what it’s like to not stop when you should
This experience has been extremely emotional. Between getting a bib, starting my fundraising, having what I thought was a good base, to getting hurt, then hitting my goal, and not getting better, it was a mix of happy, sad, frustration, being pissed off, and jealous of anyone else running-- all at once. I can’t remember the last time I’ve cried so much in one period of time, and for those of you who know me, know that I like to keep my emotions bottled up 99.9% of the time. I can’t even imagine having to deal with this uncertainty until April 17th, and am really glad I made the decision to pull the plug.
However, in the spirit of Jana’s post, and to leave this post on a semi-positive post, I’m choosing to try and find a bit of a positive in this shitty situation. If nothing more, I was able to raise over $7,500 for Back on My Feet and share their mission, hopefully getting more people interested in the amazing organization. I also able to put my passion of planning into some awesome events, and make sure my PR degree paid off (yup, it did). It was a challenge, but I’m glad I accomplished it, and I can’t wait to raise money for Back on My Feet again in 2018… yes, that means to start training now to beat the T! I’m also excited to see Jon plan an event for me (I voluntold him for this); I hope my organizational skills have started to rub off.
I’ll end my rant now, and I hope that publishing this post is a major key in my recovery. Again, being so wishy-washy for so long caused me extreme stress. I didn’t want to let anyone down who supported me (thanks again!), but also wanted to do the right thing for my body. As I’ve learned from the vampires at InsideTracker, stress is stress is stress-- no matter what form it comes in-- and it prohibits recovery. I 100% think I haven’t recovered as well as I thought I would because of this, so while I’m sad to give up running Boston, I know it’s what’s best.